Weird dipstick

[Mdubbed]

(No, not me!)
So I'm sitting in my 5.3 '04 4x4 idling 20 min or so, with the air on, it's a 100deg outside.
Suddenly she starts running a little rough and the check engine light starts flashing along with CHECK ENGINE OIL on the driver info display. Just had it changed a couple thousand miles ago, no leaks.
Motor was not ticking or making any unusual noise, coolant temp normal.
So I shut her down and pull the dipstick, and it's DRY!
So, (perplexed) like a dummy, I go get 4 quarts of oil and you can guess the rest...
I pour it in and donchya' know it? I'm twice as high on the stick as it should be... 4 qrts too much!
Now I've gotta drain 4 qrts!
What can cause the oil to not drain into the pan, seemingly stuck in the upper end? Makes no sense...
220,000mi 2nd owner meticulously maintained runs/drives like new.
What, besides some kind of sick prank at the hands of the automotive Gods, could cause this?
Thanks for any help

(note to self, check after pouring 1st qrt, to see any anomalies that may have mysteriously resolved themselves!)

 

[B-train]

How long did you let it sit before checking? It can take several minutes to a half hour for the oil level to come to rest. As for the oil pressure light, maybe you have a sensor that is getting flaky and it didn't like the heat soak it was getting

 

[Doubeleive]

How long did you let it sit before checking? It can take several minutes to a half hour for the oil level to come to rest. As for the oil pressure light, maybe you have a sensor that is getting flaky and it didn't like the heat soak it was getting

oil pressure and oil level are 2 different things
as for oil level normally on a gmt800 if the level is 2 quarts low, it will trigger a low oil warning and you may or may not see anything on the dipstick, it might show nothing or just a smidge on the very tip end.
so if you added 4 that was 2 too many
my best suggestion at this point is drain the oil and start over.

 

[Tahoe14]

I think it was 4 quarts in and then 4 quarts back out.