I seem to be following in your footsteps, just 20 years behind. We max our Roth IRA contributions for ourselves and kids. That's #1 on our list. I maintain all of my cars as well. Not only do I enjoy it, but I also get to spoil myself with nicer tools to help myself out because the two times my wife took her car in for an oil change she was offended by the cost.To the OP, you’re raising great questions. I’ve often wondered this myself. I’ll be precise and open about our financial situation to help you assess your own. At 53, retirement isn’t that far off. My wife and I earn $350K/year between us. We’ve been maxing out our 401K’s for many years and hope to retire at 65 with no mortgage or other debt but we have 2 kids to put through college between now and then.
When I was 44, I didn’t sweat spending $55K on a new BMW. It lost $35K in value in 5 years. If I had instead spent $25K on a car, that extra $30K would be worth $78K now based on what I’ve earned on my IRA accounts over that time. And that’s without factoring in the interest I paid on the note, or the higher insurance and property taxes on it in that time. With that, it would be upwards of $90K in my pocket now. Just for the privilege of owning a BMW instead of a Nissan for 5 years.
Now, I drive a 2007 Yukon XL Denali that I bought in 2018 for $9500 out of Arizona. It’s in showroom condition and I maintain it fanatically. I keep records and have spent less than $2000 in parts for repairs to keep it reliable over 40K miles. I do all of my own work on it so there is no labor cost. We take long road trips in it with 4-7 people including our 2 kids several times a year. It’s comfortable and I’d drive it anywhere.
We can technically afford a new Yukon, but in my view, knowing what I know about money now that I didn’t in my 30’s, the cost is far too high to justify. Today, I can haul 6 people and their stuff in comfort and safety with no worries. If I spent $85K on a new one, I could haul 6 people and their stuff in comfort and safety with some worries. The key was separating my sense of identity from what I drive, and reassessing what I need to feel like I’m doing well. That, and no longer comparing what’s in our driveway with what’s in our neighbor’s driveway, or at least looking at it through a different lens.
If I could find a decent SUV at $10k with low-ish miles I'd be ecstatic. Nowadays I bet a Yukon like the one you're describing would be mid-20s at the very least and I just can't justify buying a near 20 year old car for anything over 10k. Maybe I need to reassess just how lousy the used market is with the chip shortage and the hyper inflation we're dealing with right now.