Rise of the Turd-burban

[Nooj]

Greetings all. I hope you’ll forgive me for bringing the long roof to your Tahoe and Yukon party- but I’ve found good help on this forum, so I thought I’d share my story of woe. Not that it’s gonna be a big help to anyone, unless you consider it a warning of what not to do.

Round one- I overpaid for this turd, it needed a trans, the interior was nasty and drivers seat looked like the previous owners had their back pockets stitched in with barbed wire. I managed to one-shot it home, doing about 35mph, which was all it could muster, to the dismay of the line of folks behind me.

It seemed only to keep getting worse, the more I looked this thing over. So, I did what any unreasonable person would do- start throwing money at the situation!

Did I mention it has about 325,000 miles on it? Of course I didn’t, it’s embarrassing.

At any rate- I’ll share some of my battles and progress as I go along. Feel free to laugh at me or with me.

Nooj

 

[Nooj]

Round two
This turd came with a spare trans which, by appearance, gave me no more confidence than the one already installed. So I opted to buy a rebuilt 4L60 and put it in myself. I mean, I installed it, I didn’t put it… never mind.

What a pain in the **** ordeal that is- exacerbated even more so by doing it in the driveway on my back!
While the trans was out, I knew I’d better do the rear main. Judging by the only film of crud covering the engine, it would also need more than just the rear main. So, I did the rear main, oil pan, intake valley, steam pipes, intake, and rocker covers as well.

By this point (which been a couple of weeks in process), my fingernails are thoroughly imbedded with grunge. My abs are getting rock hard from the hundreds of times I’ve gone from flat on my back to standing at flat on my back, because I never have the right till the first or third time. Can you get abs on your neck?

Anyways- I broke open the transfer case and was pleasantly surprised at how good it looked. I’ll take that win. I resealed it and changed the input seal and called it done.

Engine seals done, new trans installed with transfer case (point of advice- don’t forget to install the new torque converter before jacking into place- unless you like wrestling it back up in there twice, like me).

It’s alive!! It runs and drives! Wait… limp mode, cel illuminated. Well, shat…

Nooj

 

[Nooj]

Round three
Probably something in the wiring…

So I inspect and double check all trans connections. I was fiddling with the round connector when all of a sudden it hit me. Right in the face- a small stream of water. Was it in the plug? Heck if I know, but I checked the solenoid functions with a scanner (for the code it threw) and cleared it. Running and driving. Finally!

I’m one of the blessed folks who has the hassle, I mean ,public responsibility to get my smog test done, so off I go.
FAILED…. Only because the system wasn’t ready. Really?! I have a tool to check that. Why didn’t I??

At least while getting the test done I had a few minutes to stand and gaze in wonder at the glorious beast I had worked so fervently to get back on the road, and see it wizzing new coolant on the ground.
I never liked that radiator much anyways. Thought it was cooler than me.

In good news, RockAuto and I are going steady at this point.

Nooj

 

[Nooj]

Round 2 1/2 (backed up a little)

Just wanted to put up a pic of my trans cooler set up. Honestly, it’s probably over kill and will have a negative affect in the winter.
Behind that one beautiful grill is two 1405 trans saver coolers, in series.

“Whoa, Nooj- save some trans cooling for the rest of us”. Yeah, I know.

Nooj

 

[Nooj]

Round four

Maybe there is something in the wiring…
And there was- A LOT!
I removed an alarm system (old Hornet) with windows controller, an XM box that was probably really cool at one point, an air horn, a hands free apparatus, some junk speaker wires, etc.

And to my surprise, it still cranks and runs!!

Question: that cable going under the carpet in front of my console, it was attached to that silver box. What is it, and should it be there? Thanks in advance.

Nooj

 

[Nooj]

Captains log, entry 0ICU812

Took a trip to LKQ today, in search of some plastic bits and a few unicorns (dash top in sweet condition, un-bent front bumper, the ever elusive un-tattered drivers seat).

I realized a couple things- these shorts, plus sweat, and my underwear riding up made for a grueling walk around the junk yard. Second- well I don’t remember.

Scores: dash cubby to replace on-star button area, A-pillar covers with tweeters, turn signal passenger side mirror (wrong color ), some other plastic bits (like that flap that covers the hole through which you let the spare down), and a rear audio control for my console (looks better than the one I have).
Now I remember the second thing! It’s sad when some of the junk yard cars have nicer interior than yours… but, I guess that’s what we want when we go junk yarding for parts. Nobody goes to buy uglier parts than what they have.

Nooj

 

[89Suburban]

Welcome!

 

[Sparksalot]

Ha! Long Roof, I love it.

 

[Sparksalot]

Why is 325k embarrassing?

 

[swathdiver]

Why is 325k embarrassing?

I think he meant that about the money he spent for a truck with a bad transmission. Now he gets to see on this forum that he's not alone! LOL

Have you loaded your kayak onto the Z71 rails yet? That cool roller in the back still working? hehehe