Ok, bud heres the scoop.
the amps required to hold the relay in the open position (automotive light relays are a naturally closed type) is less than 2 amps give or take alil. A switch can handle that all day long.. Its a small electro magnet that closes the large brass contacts inside the Relay.
But Lights require anything up to 30 amps or more.
Reguardless if that switch can handle 30amps or not, the Immidiate amp draw when that switch is thrown is Way over 30, this immidiatly heats up the contacts in the switch, combine that with the excessive amp load of the switch. It will continuosly heat up untill melt down.
The lights will pull Direcly through that large brass contact (bridge) to the battery. This does not heat up unless the Relay is undersized, Most automotive lights dont draw even 30. Electric fans however can draw up to 45, this is where you use a 60amp relay. I like to use starter solinoids (Extra heavy duty 200 amp relay) from mid 80's motorcycles. They are full metal, rebuildable and waterproof.
Ehow, How a Relay works
This image is pressed into or printed on ALL quality Relays store bought.
C= contact 30, Comes direct from battery dont forget the Fuse! No more than 18" from battery!
D= contact 87, Goes to Lights or Electric fan. sometimes theres a 87 and 87A, they both do the same thing, they are doubled up so you can run heavy guage wite to a single female spade connector.
A= contact 86, Ground no explanation needed.
B= contact 85, 12volt SWITCHED source, This can be anything from your ignition to a lighted or OEM switch or even your brake light.
That is Standard issue Relay wiring.
Me I prefer to do it abit different for Safty reasons..
I put my Switch on 86 (ground) and simply jump my power from 30 over to 85.
This keeps me from running "hot" wires all over the place which is less chance of shorting andmelting down wires which turns into a vehical fire, IF the fuse didnt catch the short or was to high a amp rating.
To determin required amp rating (with out a mp guage) is simple. Get your lights all wires up.
Now place in a 5 amp fuse, if it blows, go up to a 7.5 amp, if it blows go up to a 10amp. Keep going up 5 amps at a time untill the fuse does not Blow under constant use for 15 minutes. If you hit 25amps and blow a fuse running lights (40 for a 16" electric fan) Check your wiring for potential shorts immidiatly.
Relays from 30 to 75amp and the Socket used to wire them up.
More Techincal information on Wiring Relays and their types.
Dunno if you needed all that info, but there it is.