I'm SO sorry I am getting to this late, but it sounds like you are experiencing an alternator failure. That is one of the few things that would cause issues with all these electrical systems at once. The alternative, of course, is that something the mechanic did or it sitting for so long took out multiple systems. But the fact no one can find anything wrong leads me to look at the alternator.
Additionally, we had some issues with a bunch of subsystems on my Wife's Suburban; it turned out the cables going to the ECM were rusted; they were either broken or the resistance was so high current wasn't flowing. But she had driven through some high water on a 1000 year rain day.
I wish you were down here -- I could suggest a GOOD, HONEST mechanic you could take it to.
***** EDIT: If you get the chance, please share some pictures of your rig.