OK... I figured out the problem....
1- stuck a trouble light into the pos end of the fan plug and grounded other end. no key light on. (easier to use than having fans blowing)
2- opened up the relays again to double check. top (alone relay) controlled the light, unplug plug it in. light went on off.... other relays did nothing.key on off no difference except the light stayed off.
3- decided to next try the ^^^ above idea.... took off neg bat cable and took off the PCM cover....
4- started to unscrew the first bolt to the point that the harness was loosened off. jiggled and wiggled it, then screwed the bolt back in to tight and wanted to see if that made any differences.... secured neg cable back into batt
5- Test light stayed off .... plugged into the fan .... no running fan
The wires going into the PCM? at the connections were loose or needing a jiggle.
I didn't completely take the plug out.
Problem solved
Thank you all for your support. I am sure there will be new problems arise as she loves her truck and I doubt think she is getting rid of it anytime soon. As she bought it 2 years ago after a hard search for it. first major problem that we have encountered.
cheers all ...