Gentlemen, I found what I believe is the issue.
EBCM Solution Video
Long story short, the ignition cylinder was shot, we replaced it with a cheap Dorman model, that came with two keys and a fob.
Well after replacing the turn signal stock I discovered that the ignition cylinder gets stuck and doesn't spring all the way back after starting from accessory.
It sets all the brake lights and the cruise + windshield wipers do not function in start mode. Manually switching it back (demonstrated in the video) all brake lights turn off, and the wipers function.
The Traction control light is still on and Alldata calls out to reset it via a specific procedure.
I still have a laptop and the MDI2 on the way, does anyone know what I might be able to use it for? Before I send it back?
Great news, win is a win!