Not using auto 4wd has been covered many times; if you are in auto you have the front end components in motion; they are wearing
gm has been hit on this many times, they have even updated their public website to reflect it here:
https://www.gmc.com/gmc-life/how-to/when-to-use-four-wheel-drive . Per the owners manual wording, it is using fuel, you are wearing components.
Regarding torque and breaking rear ends.
In auto 4wd all the torque is going to the rear end, no torque is shed until the rear end looses traction (auto isn't dividing any power before loose of traction).
Explain exactly how using auto 4wd reduces torque to the rear axle before the rear axle slips. After the rear axle slips the torque load doesn't matter, it'll be lower the before it broke loose.
Concerning the delay; absolutely their is a delay. Drive on ice once and you'll experience it. Rear tires on ice, front on pavement (like 6 months here in ND) the fronts are in constant chatter mode.