Need some honest advice on what SUV to get

[Vistance]

If your budget is under $17k then you could look at either a Mercedes MLK350 or a BMW X5 or X3. That would give you the luxury and performance you want, AWD and still retain some "utility" features.

My current DD is a fairly loaded up 2002 Nissan Pathfinder (R50) with a 5 speed but I've often thought an X3 or X5 with a manual would be a fun DD. Never owned a German car before although I currently own a German bike (BMW R1150R) and it has proved to be flawlessly reliable.

The Pathy is fun to drive (for me, anyway) although my biases are the opposite of yours - I don't like "cars" (I've only owned 2 since 1979) and greatly prefer to drive trucks or SUVs.

I looked all the German stuff up and none of them are reliable. Not in the price range, some of the very new Audis can be ok. But then I saw one that had the crankshaft replaced at 55k miles and then the pistons, connecting rods, and turbo at 80k miles...sounds about like what I expect from German. I can't even make myself seem enthused at the thought of owning them anymore, I just seem them as big driving repair bills.

Heh, funny about cars though. I'd rather try and cram stuff into a car than drive a big SUV or truck around that I don't need. Around these parts I see plenty of good ol' boys who I'm sure think cars are for sissies and men drive trucks, but I don't really care what they think. It's with that mindset, that I don't care if people than an RX350 is a woman's SUV. The newer style ones look sharp, are comfortable, loaded with gadgets, very spacious, and decent on gas. It had everything I wanted except that stigma, which only matters if I let it. The color helps a lot for how good they look too. That light pewter color, nope. But black or red, seem pretty decent. I'm thinking about something like the below (I guess it's a 4th gen RX?). Women seem to go for those light colors and the light interiors (because black makes it feel cramped or something, lol sure...)

 

[W8TVI]

I live in Northern Michigan, and a few months ago I needed to find a new vehicle.
I went into my search with very few requirements:

I needed an AWD or 4WD because of the amount of snow we get here every year, and I was tired of FWD only cars.
I'm 6'4", so I needed something with good leg and head room, and all the small cars I've tried out just don't work.
I also wanted to keep the price below $8k because that would keep my payments low, and allow me to pay it off quick.
Lastly, I needed something that didn't require a ton of expensive repairs right off the bat.

In my search, I was finding mostly trucks and SUVs that would fit the bill.
I kept finding GM trucks and SUVs that needed front suspension work, and were around 200k to 300k miles, for around $6k to $8k.
I saw a GMC Acadia that I really liked, but it was $8k, and still needed all sorts of front end work.

Finally, I found my 2000 GMC Yukon XL 1500 SLT 4x4. The owner only wanted $3k for it, it had 134k miles on it, and all it needed to make it safe was rear brakes.

If you decide on a Tahoe/Yukon, I'd recommend the '00-06 Yukon. There are good amount of aftermarket cosmetic upgrade you can get for them it update their look.
I found some $100 Denali projector headlight copies that are about a 20 min job to swap out, and you can even out HID bulbs in them without blinding oncoming drivers.
My tail lights are some (IMHO) nice looking LED setups, and the much improve on how well the reverse light lights up the area behind the truck.
I like my XL, but I learned how to drive in a '91 Suburban, so the size doesn't bother me.
If you want to see some of what I've done to it, I have a link to my build thread in my signature below.

For what its worth...