If auto-headlights are enabled because of low light then the manual selector switch doesn't turn anything off. At least thats how my 02 burb works.
To turn off head lights at night time you'd have to hit the dome control button 4 times (small button about 1/4'' in diameter, left of the manual selector switch). You will hear chime and then all lights will turn off. By all lights I mean all lights, interior and exterior. Then you can use the manual selector switch to turn on 2 light options. One (45degs): dash lights, fogs, running lights and I think interior as well. Two(90degs): Headlights. I think this is accurate..not 100%
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Without reading back too far I'm going to suggest something that I do for my HIDs because they usually only one bulb ignites upon start-up.
I often use the e-brake because I park on inclined driveway. When you start truck with ebrake engaged no lights come on until you release. You know this and it doesnt work because of the 4HI method you used.
The second option is to start truck, no ebrake. Truck turns on, one HID fires. I then depress the dome override button/dome control button 4 times and as I mentioned above a chime sounds and all lights turn off. Then I used the manual selector switch to turn on necessary lighting be it running lights, fogs or head lights. This overrides the auto-headlight function so perhaps its call auto-headlight override button, I dont know...WHATEVER man. You can disable this by depressing the button again four times and chime sounds or it is automatically disabled once truck turns off.
I'm suggesting you get that selector switch from your fam again and swap them and the use the auto-headlight override button. Then use the manual selector switch to turn on your head lights. That is the 90 degree position. soo 2 clicks.
This makes me think of your current broken manual selector switch. Are you SURE its broken or just unaware of its proper function? For it to work during night time you need to disable auto-headlights by depressing said button FOUR TIMES.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ybZDCh1s7U
Okay...Just trying to help!! ahah Hopefully that makes sense.
I also dont think it would be a bad idea to disconnect the 4HI mod temporarily while you trouble shoot this. Just undo wire connected to your lows or something, I dont know exactly how you wired it but you dont have to cut the entire thing out.