Wheelbase of the tow vehicle has a surprisingly-large effect on sway and stability. Personally, I've always had doubts about a short-wheelbase Tahoe or Yukon pulling an 8,000-lb behemoth safely.
What kind of hitch/weight distribution system are you running?
You seem to be mixing your terminology. You write about adjusting "sway bars" and how that changes hitch height and drop.
Weight distribution bars are designed to create a truss to push weight off the hitch and rear axle, and distribute it back to the front axle and trailer axles. If the WD bars are properly set up, there shouldn't be any drop because both the front and rear axle are being compressed by the extra weight in the same ratio. In other words both the rear and front should drop the same amount.
If it's a standard weight distribution system, using chains at the end of the weight bars, these are NOT "sway bars." They're doing nothing to prevent sway. You need a separate sway control device, usually a friction sway brake, that attaches at two different points on your setup. This is usually a smaller ball to the side of the main ball, and a similar-sized small ball on the side of the trailer frame.
But for a really short wheelbase vehicle, I'd strongly recommend one of the sway-elimination hitches like the Hensley or Pro Pride. These hitches do exactly what they promise - they eliminate sway by physically locking the trailer to the tow vehicle. They're not cheap, but the added safety factor is worth it.
More tongue weight also increases stability. However, with SUVs, it's very easy to overload that rear axle, so you have maintain that balancing act. In one of my early rigs, pulling a 26' trailer with my 2001 half-ton, I had the sway brake cranked so tight that I actually bent the 3/4" steel mounting plat that the sway ball was attached to.