Woman took my car... civil issue... trying to get it back

[fixmycar]

I couldn’t follow post 215 at all before the changes and now I can except that last paragraph. Let me get this straight...your ex asked your daughter if your ex was going to pick up your daughter on Mother’s Day (???) and your daughter got upset when your ex said yes (to the question that your ex asked your daughter?) ? And this was a direct violation of your timeshare? The question was a violation? I’m so confused.

Fixed,

Talking timeshare with a child is a no no and it's a direct interruption of my timeshare when now I must spend time out of my timeshare to console my daughter who is now upset and crying.

 

[Rocket Man]

Fixed,

Talking timeshare with a child is a no no and it's a direct interruption of my timeshare when now I must spend time out of my timeshare to console my daughter who is now upset and crying.

Oh ok I follow now but I’m afraid if you count the time you end up consoling your daughter over things her mother (Or anybody) says as a violation of your timeshare you will be wrong. That’s time your daughter will remember as her dad making her feel better which you can’t put a price on. It will add up over the years as a good thing if you can manage to not let on that you’re mad at her mother which will negate any good you do if that makes sense. You need to try to understand how your daughter feels which is probably that she would like you all to be together or at least not fight or argue.

 

[fixmycar]

I was just pointing out it took her less than a couple days to break a big no no and talk to a child about when their timeshare ends or asking a child when you can come and pick them up.

It wasn't a violation, it was an interruption she caused during my timeshare. The point being is, she can never be normal.

 

[Doubeleive]

Oh ok I follow now but I’m afraid if you count the time you end up consoling your daughter over things her mother (Or anybody) says as a violation of your timeshare you will be wrong. That’s time your daughter will remember as her dad making her feel better which you can’t put a price on. It will add up over the years as a good thing if you can manage to not let on that you’re mad at her mother which will negate any good you do if that makes sense. You need to try to understand how your daughter feels which is probably that she would like you all to be together or at least not fight or argue.

yep, it's like my kids as much as I ended up hating there mother, I kept my mouth shut, she did her own damage to them all on her lonesome. I never said things in front of them or too them about her.

 

[George B]

yep, it's like my kids as much as I ended up hating there mother, I kept my mouth shut, she did her own damage to them all on her lonesome. I never said things in front of them or too them about her.

I laughed about the note in our court order about not talking bad about the other parent. My step daughters father F$@&ed it all up all on his own. No words needed from us. I was ready for the day she realized he didn’t care and the tears came.

 

[swathdiver]

Thank the Lord I never had to experience this either as a child or as an adult. It sounds terrible for all.

 

[avalonandl]

I do enough damage to myself...... where's my corkscrew....

 

[OR VietVet]

Talking about the bad things the mother does, in front of the child, never helps. It leaves the child feeling bad, wondering if she is the cause of problems and just generally confuses her and leaves her on pins and needles about what she may or may not be doing wrong. Kids are pretty smart and pick up on vibes and that daughter of yours will see who is the better parent and then know who she feels more comfortable with and safe with. That kid will see how terrible the mom is. That kid will also figure out that you do too and will love you even more for not talking in front of her about just how bad the mom is. It will take time but will come around. Till then, DO NOT sink to her level because the courts will hear of this. Remember, any comments the mom makes about you being a bad parent will have to be backed up with proof and therefore you don't do anything to feed the evidence bag.

 

[wjburken]

My wife and I were foster parents for about 10 years. One thing that we learned is no matter how bad things were where the child was living with their parents before being placed into foster care, that was their normal, their home, and they were with mom and/or dad. We had kids that knew their parents lied, made bad choices, even hurt them or allowed them to be hurt. Even with that knowledge, they still had a love for their parents and a desire to be loved by their parents. We never talked bad about their parents and spent a lot of time listening and consoling them, particularly after family visits. The toughest was when the parent didn't even show up for the visit and the kids wondered what they did wrong to make their parent not want to see them. Had to let them know that they didn't do anything wrong and it was not their fault. It broke my heart on a regular basis to see how issues that adults have can affect the kids so making sure the kid felt, safe, loved and wanted was the biggest and most important job my wife and I had as foster parents. I see a lot of similarities to the situation that is being described here.

 

[GTNator]

My wife and I were foster parents for about 10 years. One thing that we learned is no matter how bad things were where the child was living with their parents before being placed into foster care, that was their normal, their home, and they were with mom and/or dad. We had kids that knew their parents lied, made bad choices, even hurt them or allowed them to be hurt. Even with that knowledge, they still had a love for their parents and a desire to be loved by their parents. We never talked bad about their parents and spent a lot of time listening and consoling them, particularly after family visits. The toughest was when the parent didn't even show up for the visit and the kids wondered what they did wrong to make their parent not want to see them. Had to let them know that they didn't do anything wrong and it was not their fault. It broke my heart on a regular basis to see how issues that adults have can affect the kids so making sure the kid felt, safe, loved and wanted was the biggest and most important job my wife and I had as foster parents. I see a lot of similarities to the situation that is being described here.

You’re a good man. God bless you and your wife.


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